I Learned To Say “love Myself” Before Saying “love You”

Saying “I love myself” is not an act of pride, but of self-love. While the first dimension derives from our fears and insecurities, the second, self-love, is nourished by a healthy self-esteem that allows us to establish healthier relationships.

When we talk about affective relationships, it is common that, on some occasions, self-esteem is almost diluted in the face of the other’s needs and desires. We even think that if the other person is fine, everything is fine.

It’s not easy to draw a line when we talk about love. We walk in common spaces where everything is shared and where many personal renunciations are made in favor of one’s commitment.

However, we should never renounce our self-esteem, our values ​​and the personal balance we have to follow in order to feel good about ourselves.

Saying “I love myself” is not an act of selfishness, but of strength

Surely you’ve been through this at some point. Saying something like “I don’t want this for myself” and hearing from someone else that “you’re too selfish”. Far from feeling annoyed, be aware of these explanations.

self love

• Self-love allows us to establish a protective barrier to pay attention to our well-being and our needs.
• Self-esteem is a valuation that must be strengthened from childhood. It is necessary for parents to offer recognition, value and individuality to the child. That way, she will have a good self-image of herself and feel secure.

• Self-love allows us to say “I love myself”. Because we are emotionally centered and feel proud of who we are and what defines us.
• With good self-esteem you will be able to listen to yourself. In addition to understanding what is good for you and what you should avoid in order not to fall into the abyss of dependency or suffering.
• You don’t need outside approval or anyone telling you what to do to be happy.

The pride

• A proud person idealizes himself while denying his own weaknesses and needs.
• Seeks to feel superior to others as a defense mechanism. Thus, he hides his low self-esteem, his dissatisfaction and his affective problems.
• It is common for proud people to have a strong personality and a bit arrogant.

They have neither good empathy nor adequate self-knowledge.

• They impose the need to “be respected” when, in reality, they are the ones who don’t respect each other. They do not meet your lack of self-esteem, your emotional needs, your defensive attitudes and that harm the environment.

Things we should do before starting a relationship

We know that sometimes love comes when we least expect it. We can’t always control who we fall in love with and who doesn’t. But, in order to establish a filter that is as adequate as possible, it is necessary to enhance certain personal issues.

According to an interesting article published in Psychology Today , people should pay attention to these four dimensions:

understand yourself

We know it sounds very philosophical, very transcendental. But knowing yourself is the only way to know what makes us happy, and what we don’t want in our life.

There are those who prefer to let themselves go, to put in the hands of others the ability to be happy without remembering that happiness always comes from us. You have to take this into account.

learn to know people

We know this is not a simple task. How do I know if the person I’m attracted to will be able to build a happy and lasting relationship?

• Analyze your emotional maturity, your sincere ability to connect with you without over prioritizing yourself.

• Observe if your personality is stable, if you cultivate illusions and not grudges, if your demands violate the self-esteem of those who are part of your life.

Separate your family “psychologically”

• Let go of your family’s constant approval each time you want to start a new project or a new relationship.
• Happiness must be built by you. And if at any time we renounce a person just because our parents don’t approve, we will regret it for a long time.
• Make your own decisions. Enjoy your life fully and let your family participate, but without needing your approval.

Experience the pleasure of being alone before having a partner

• It’s not about being physically alone at every moment, but about being free to learn everything, to put ourselves in many contexts, situations and experiences to get to know ourselves better and enjoy our solitude.

• Those who fear being alone project on their partner the need to cover this fear, they become controlling and build a relationship often based on the fear of abandonment.

Not worth it. Before saying “I love you”, it is important to say “I love myself”, to build a project that is more committed, more vital and with an adequate emotional balance.